Thoughts From Scenes
by princessmelia
Summary: Ever wonder what that character was thinking? Here's a look inside their minds for (as of right now) Season 4 and 5. Random scenes with random characters thoughts. Rated T just in case. Chapter 5- Merlin knew he must deal with his greatest fear at last. 5x03
1. Long Live The King

_**A/N-** So, this is where you can find my thoughts and one-shots for Season 4. Random scenes with random characters thoughts. This first one is from Merlin's POV from the last scene of 4x03._

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><p><em>Long live the king.<em>

A long life of lies and betrayal for me.

_Long live the king._

Unless Arthur finds out about my magic before then, then it will be a short life for me.

_Long live the king._

He can never find out who I really am; to him, I am pure evil.

_Long live the king._

I was so close to freedom, it was right there.

_Long live the king._

I still have to live in fear, still worry about being found out every day.

_Long live the king._

But, Arthur doesn't hate me, maybe there's still hope?

_Long live the king._

After all, he called me a loyal friend.

_Long live the king!_

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><p><em>Thoughts?<em>

**-princessmelia**


	2. A Loyal Friend

_**A/N-** This scene is from the second to last scene. Arthur's POV_

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><p>Arthur had wanted to kneel by his Father until dawn, but when dawn came around, he still waited until the sun's golden light filled the whole room before making his way to the doors. He knew the instant he left the room, a world of responsibility would be coming for him, never ending until his own dying day. The thought scared him, yet at the same time, he felt more prepared and composed than ever before for his kingship.<p>

He pushed open the giant doors of the hall, stepping out into the corridor outside. Surprisingly, he saw Merlin on the floor, apparently sleeping. "Merlin. It's a new day."

When Merlin turned his head, it was obvious that the servant had not been sleeping at all. He looked bone tired and there were dark circles around his eyes; he looked like someone who hadn't slept well for days.

"You've been here all night?" though he said it as though it weren't a question; he already knew the answer.

"I didn't want you to feel that you were alone." Arthur was touched by Merlin's words. When he had opened the doors to this new life, he had expected to feel different, changed. In a way, he did, but then he also realized some things would never change, like Merlin.

Merlin, always being the clumsy idiot. Merlin, always throwing himself into dangerous situations for Arthur and Camelot. Merlin, the person who was there for him when no one else was.

"You are a loyal friend, Merlin." Arthur felt it was about time he admitted it.

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><p><strong>-princessmelia<strong>


	3. As Much As He Needs

_**A/N-** Merlin's POV through the night before Arthur's coronation._

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><p>I killed him. How can I go on each day, knowing that it was me? Knowing that Arthur wouldn't just kill me for knowing I have magic, but for killing his father as well? I'd killed before, when it was necessary. But it'd never been someone I'd protected for years; it'd never been my best friend's father. There was no point denying it now, I'm a murderer.<p>

"_Where does it say in my destiny includes murder?"_

Apparently right now. Only I'd messed up my destiny, destroyed it forever. Arthur will never be able to accept magic, how could he? I'd ruined all my progress, it's like taking five steps forwards and forty steps back. I'd become a murderer.

Only, Gaius said it wasn't my fault that Uther died, it was Morgana's. But it was I who made Morgana what she is today. I failed her, failed to make her see magic can be good, that it's a gift, not a curse. I pushed her down the path of evil she's now on. I destroy everything; everyone around me suffers from my choices. Gaius lied and protected me all these years, sometimes facing death himself. Will died protecting Arthur and, consequently, my secret. Freya trusted me to keep her safe, yet I couldn't stop her death. Balinor died saving my life and I coulnd't heal him, even after he saved Arthur. I allowed Kilgharrah to wreak havoc and misery on Camelot for nights on end. I nearly caused Gwen her life after trying to save her father, only to have him die months later. I forced Morgana's downfall, brought her to the place of loneliness and suffering she is in now. I killed Arthur's father.

And so I sit here, paying for all the injustices I caused the only way I know how. I will sit here and wait for Arthur; I will not sleep while he mourns. I will mourn in my own way for all those lost, for all the pain and suffering I've caused.

Hours later, I see Arthur's silhouette on the wall. Maybe he'll think I'm sleeping and pass me by, I'm not sure what I'll say if he asks me what I'm doing.

"Merlin." I turn my head, there's no way to ignore his voice, and I stare back in silent rebellion, almost begging him to see the guilt written all over my face so I don't have to bear this pain alone. Maybe if he knows, I can… what? Feel free of my guilt? No, I can't allow myself the redemption that would come with being caught. This is my penance; Arthur needs me more than ever.

"It's a new day." I truly look at Arthur for the first time; it seems the hours by himself have done him good. He appears more at ease, not that his guilt has disappeared completely, but he seems to have forgiven himself more. I stand up, not wanting to look weak in light of Arthur's ability to forgive himself when I can't seem to manage to do that very thing for me.

"You've been here all night?" The correct answer to this would be a simple yes, but I want to answer more than that. However, I can't very well say I've been here thinking of all the death and destruction I've caused over the years. Arthur can never know of all that. Instead, I settle for a form of the truth.

"I didn't want you to feel that you were alone." And I hadn't, it was all I could give Arthur for killing his father.

"You are a loyal friend, Merlin." I couldn't believe it. How long had I been waiting for Arthur to say those words, to admit our friendship aloud? But now that I was finally hearing them, they only caused me more pain than joy. After all I had done for Arthur, now was the time he decided to notice what I was doing for him. If he really knew what I had just done, he would run me through where I stand. By Arthur's own words I was "pure evil".

Yet, maybe there was still hope for a future. _Time heals all wounds_, they say. Maybe all Arthur will need is time. Time and support. And I will give it to him, as much as he needs.

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><p><em>I couldn't end it totally sad, as Merlin then jokes with Arthur in the very next line. Thoughts?<em>

**-princessmelia**


	4. Simple Minded Fool

_**A/N-** Sorry I haven't updated lately, but this is for episode 4x05. Would you guys be okay if I wrote scenes from other seasons too?_

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><p>Arthur and Merlin walked out of Queen Annis' tent in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Arthur was beyond furious. Did Merlin have a death wish? He was supposed to rush into danger, especially into situations as pointless and stupid as that.<p>

Arthur couldn't let Merlin die; he had already lost too much. His knights were already willing to die for him, and he had accepted that. They were knights, he had to have a certain expectation that he may lose one of them someday. Though, it never made it easier to lose them. That was another thing: the death of Lancelot. It had only been a few weeks since he had lost one of his closest friends, he couldn't lose another.

"A simple minded fool?" Arthur heard Merlin's indignant voice speak up.

"Trust me, I was being kind," was Arthur's retort. And he had been. Numerous amounts of words had entered Arthur's mind when he saw Merlin being marched into the tent. The next things he said weren't true. He just didn't want Merlin getting hurt, anymore than he wanted to see anyone else he cared about.

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><p><em>Your thoughts?<em>

**-princessmelia**


	5. The Ghost of You Lingers

**_A/N- _**_So it's been a while for this story, but I could not get the thoughts of Merlin out of my own thoughts for this scene! So here is the "reveal" scene from 5x03._

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><p>Merlin sprinted his way to the throne room. Arthur was in trouble, he could feel it in his gut. Uther loved his son- of course he did- but this wasn't Uther, not really. This was his spirit, a part of his soul that was bent on preserving his legacy- no matter what.<p>

So when the servant burst into the hall, he was only slightly surprised to find the king unconscious on the floor with the former monarch stalking towards him. "Get away from him Uther!" Merlin shouted. This king had put Camelot through too much pain over the years. "You've caused enough harm. You don't belong here. You must return to the other world." Merlin wished desperately to reason with this spirit, to make it see that it could no longer linger in the world of the living. Lancelot had seen this; maybe; Uther would too.

"This is my kingdom! You think you can drive me from it?" So no luck there then, Merlin thought sarcastically. "You are nothing but a serving boy!"

He only paused for a moment before proclaiming, "I am much more than that." It was time that he finally stood up to Uther. Even though his hands were shaking in nervousness and he thought he might be sick from fear, he would stand his ground. He would give Uther what he deserved for what he'd done over the years to his kind.

Quickly, he saw a bench fly at him out of the corner of his eyes. Equally as quick, the sorcerer stopped it with a flash of his eyes. It was a reflex, but Merlin still felt his heart hammer at the thought of doing magic in plain sight of the mighty Uther Pendragon. For years, this had been Merlin's greatest fear: Uther finding out about his magic. Images of being burned at the pyre flashed through his mind, but he swiftly cast them aside. The servant waited with baited breath for the fallen king to make the first move, not daring to meet his scarily livid blue eyes.

"You have magic." Uther responded at a near whisper.

At the quiet tone of his voice, Merlin looked up and finally met the former king's eyes. And even though his heart was bursting out of his chest and he was breathing heavy and his voice was shaky, he defiantly declared the words he had dreamed of saying since he had first arrived in Camelot, "I was born with it!"

"I made you Arthur's servant. You are a sorcerer."

Instead of dropping his head in guilt or shame at those words, Merlin only lifted his head higher with pride. "Even while you were king there was magic at the heart of Camelot." He knew how Uther would respond to those words. With rage.

"I will not allow you and your kind to poison my-"

"You're wrong," Merlin interrupted while Uther stalked toward him.

"kingdom!"

"You're wrong!" he repeated, louder, forcing Uther to stop. "About so much. Arthur is a better and more worthy king than you ever were." He hoped, that somewhere, deep down, Uther would understand what he was saying. That Arthur could rule.

But when Uther only cried in outrage at him, Merlin had no choice but to force him backwards through the door. Suddenly, it hit him what had just happened. Uther knew. He knew about his magic. And the quest to put the fallen king back in the Spirit World became that much more important.

Cautiously, Merlin began his hunt around the castle. Peering around every corner and holding his hand out for protection, he made his way to the armory, the place Uther's ghost had most often visited.

Merlin said a quick spell to light up the torches before surveying the room. A second before he was attacked, he felt the presence enter the room with him. All too quickly, he was pinned to the door behind him.

With a great clanking, Merlin heard and then saw Uther stride down the aisle toward him, sword poised to kill. "It will give me great pleasure killing you." The sorcerer readied to defend with magic, but was stopped when Arthur came rushing in.

"Father!" Arthur called out, drawing the dead king's attention away from Merlin and to him. Merlin could only watch as his friend stared at the horn and his father, battling his own internal conflict.

"Arthur, no. Please. Whatever I've done, I've done for Camelot."

"You've had your turn. Now it's mine."

"Merlin has-" But before Uther could finish, Arthur cast him back to the Spirit World with a blow of his horn. Tears sprang unbidden to Merlin's eyes in relief of what had just happened. He had stood up to Uther and Arthur hadn't found out. But he couldn't help but feel slightly remorseful as he looked into his best friend's eyes and found he was not the only one without dry eyes.

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><p><em>Thoughts?<em>

**-princessmelia**


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